1. |
im 16 yrs old
00:30
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i'm 16 yrs old
what do i know?
not how i feel
whats the deallll
what are emotions?
such a crazzy notion!
there's wayyyy too many
stored up inside me.
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2. |
will i really miss you?
01:43
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will i really miss you?
when yr actually gone
i can say it a thousand times but i dont really know until it's done
will i be okay?
once you leave me
i keep telling myself i will be but i dont really know definitely
will things still be normal?
w/out you around
i can act like they are but i wont know till youre westward bound
will you really miss me?
when im actually gone
you can tell me that you will but let's be real
you wont know until it's done
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3. |
on top of a blankeyy
01:32
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on top of a blanket
out under the stars
who knew this would be so hard?
we knew it was ending
but didnt know when
and you said those words you wish you said then
we both laid there shaking
you because of the cold
me because im sobbing and grabbing you for me to hold
now youre leaving wednesday
and im staying here
but for now ill hold you close to me my dear
for now you tell me there's nothing to fear
you tell me youll be back before next year
on top of a blanket
out under the stars
and who knew this would be so hard???
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4. |
to remember you
01:32
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the silence overwhelms us
youre not making eye-contact
but i still look you over
force myself to remember
just the way you look right now.
remember the way we kiss
cuz this might be the last time
and maybe that's not a bad thing
but it feels like the worst thing
so we part ways as just friends
and maybe that's the best thing
it hurts more than anything
i have done alot of crying
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5. |
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i dont wanna move today
just sit at home and watch anime
flcl might be confusing me
but ouran high school is amusing me
sao has gone on FAR TOO LONG
part ii of death note had a gr8 theme song
and i wish i had ein as a pet
remember when fuu lied about the bet?
and alphonse elric always makes me cry
and i couldnt take it when L died
eren jeager is my bf
(see you later space cowboy...)
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6. |
muscles
02:02
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voluntary muscles
muscles you can control
biceps triceps && quads
you can make them grow!!
involuntary muscles
muscles you cant control
like yr lungs and yr <3
they work on their own
so scientifically speaking
yr <3 will keep beating
yr lungs will keep heaving
you will keep breathing
even when you feel down
lonely and depressed
yr <3 will keep pumping
you can always take a breath
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7. |
faded notebook
02:33
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my notebook pages are fading
my words become less apparent
everything written in pencil
because pen is much to permanent
ill say that we should hang out
but ill never set a date
because even though i miss you
commitment is something i hate
im terrified of growing up
i dont wanna leave highschool
and to start a job and a family
and to follow these social rules
hell im afraid of the pen that i write with
scared there's nothing i can erase
and when written down things become more real
and that's something i cannot face
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8. |
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we talked about our days
like everything was fine
but in the end we both knew
just what was on our minds
you were scared for college
for everything to change
i was scared youd leave me
and it all be the same
we just stood there hugging
we didnt even talk
you grabbed me by the hand
and we began to walk
over to yr volvo
old 420 turbo
saying that you should go
but not wanting to let go
...
your muffler is so loud
i watch you drive away
i stand there in the grass
can you see me wave?
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9. |
i didnt love me
01:21
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i can count on my two hand
the people that i've told
about how i write music
i havent posted it to fb
or sent it to my friends
if asked about it ill deny it quick
so i wish i was more confident!
it's not that i dont like my songs
or that i am embarrassed
i dont care about others opinions
or if i get harassed
on the other hand maybe i do
maybe that is all not true
maybe i care about what you think
maybe i care if you think i stink
but im trying to learn not to
im trying to learn to trust more in myself
trying to believe in all that i do
trying to be happy with the songs i produce
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10. |
last time
02:27
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how many times do we see someone for the last time? maybe without even realizing it. not because of death necessarily, but because distance gets the best of us. it's not often we acknowledge we may never see someone again, because when we do we can be overwhelmed by sadness or loss. just the other day daniel said to me "mary montgomery this may be the last time we ever see each other." and at the time it got me down, but im thankful he said it because in the moment it forced em to realize i had to say goodbye and leave satisfied with our friendship even if we never meet again. and i was satisfied and i still am. but what about all the other people ill never see again? i didnt get to say goodbye to all of them? and maybe i didn't know it was the last time. and maybe i didnt care it was the last time. and maybe i wasnt prepared for the last time, the last time i'd ever see them again. so for all the people ill never see again, im thankful that i met you in the first place! ive never been good with goodbyes, so maybe it's best we didnt say them.
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à la mer Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Mary Montgomery
if you have questions, comments, you wanna talk or w/ever I would love to talk to anyone who wants to talk to me :)
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